Unleashed
by BattyCore
Summary: Kenny is bummed because he hasn't gotten any in wayyy too long. His resources have been tapped dry, and he thinks he has no where to turn. That is, until he spots a certain someone taking out his trash. Previously titled "For Matt"
1. Conquest

I took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh mountain air. It was wonderful and pure and clean. Not acceptable. I lit up a nice, white cancer stick, and sucked in its sweet toxins.

Much better.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the burning in my lungs. The only thing better than smoking a cigarette was getting laid. And the horrible truth was that I hadn't gotten laid in over _four days_. Four days! That was also not acceptable.

Not acceptable at _all_.

I'd tried all my usual resources, but everyone had recently gotten into relationships. It was Valentine's Day, after all. Who would be caught dead without a leash?

Maybe a nice walk would clear my head. Supposedly, it worked wonders for my friends when they were down. I dropped my cigarette, put it out with my boot, and headed toward town.

The further along I went, the more I realized that walking wasn't going to fix me. I needed a good, hard fuck to clear my head, but no one was willing to give that to me. Selfish assholes.

I sighed exasperatedly and ran a hand up under my hood to scratch at my head. Maybe I should just go home.

Just as I was about to turn, a spot of blue caught my eye. I turned my attention to it and noticed one Craig Tucker taking out his trash. My lips spread into a slow grin as I hatched an idea.

I jogged quietly up to a nearby trash can and hid behind it, watching him. I waited until he'd dropped off his bag and had turned away. As soon as I could see the back of his head, I chucked a snow ball at it. It smashed into his skull, perfectly on target.

Little pieces of snow fell off his hat as he slowly turned on his heel. I could feel his wrath radiating all the way from my hiding spot.

I giggled to myself and waited for him to face me completely. His expression was _priceless_. "Who threw that?" he shouted, hands balled into tight fists. Instead of answering him, I threw another hunk of snow and it hit him in the chest.

He snarled and began to storm toward me. I scrambled to my feet and tried to run away. I could hear his furious ranting as I made my get away. He was absolutely _livid_. I grinned to myself and continued to run.

Before I knew it, he was on me. He tackled me and shoved my face into the snow, holding me there and trying to suffocate me. "What the fuck, McCormick? Do you have a death wish? What the actual fuck?"

I made some sort of apology, but my voice was muffled by the ground. He made a noise of frustration. With a knee in my back, he jerked my head up by a handful of hair. "What?" he growled, face more than just a little too close.

I smiled at him and said again, "I was just trying to have a little fun; you need to lighten up!" With that he smashed my face back into the snow.

"You know what you're problem is, McCormick? You don't know who your friends are. I am _not_ your friend. Okay? So don't fuck with me; you won't like it."

I muffled something else into the snow and he yanked on my hair again. I laughed and grinned at him. "I'd like it more that you'd think, _Craig_," I remarked, stressing his first name instead of using his last.

According to his silence, he didn't appreciate my teasing. I struggled against his weight and flipped myself around beneath him. He had one knee on either side of my torso, and a poised fist, ready to beat me with.

I held up my hands in surrender, saying "Okay, okay, I get it, you hate me. Would it help if we had a fair fight? You and me, right now, 30 snow balls."

He raised an eyebrow at that, smirking only the slightest bit. "Or I could just beat you into the ground with my fist for disrespecting me," he offered. "I like option two better."

I sighed and shook my head with disappointment in his lack of cooperation. "I'm tougher than I look, Craig; I might just surprise you and take you down myself," I quipped, leering back up at him.

"Like you could," he sneered, leaning forward with intimidation.

I heaved a sigh and pushed against his chest with my hands. He faltered in his stance and I had him on his back in a matter of seconds, pinned beneath me. He struggled, but I had him down. I gripped his wrists hard and made a point to prove I was the one in charge.

I looked down on him, my bangs falling over his face in our close proximity. I tilted my head and spoke with an airy chuckle, "All I wanted was to play with you. Won't you play with me, Craig?"

His face scrunched up in disgust. "I'll kill you, McCormick. Don't think I won't."

I laughed at that, probably pissing him off even more. Kill me? Please; what a joke! "I might die soon anyway, with the lack of ass I've gotten lately," I remarked, rolling my eyes.

He began to struggle again at that, catching my drift. "I swear to God, if you don't get off my, you're going to regret the day you were born!" he threatened.

I pushed my lip out in a pout. "But all I want is to play with you!" I whined. I did a little childish dance, like I was going to throw a tantrum if he didn't buy me that candy bar I wanted. I wanted _his_ candy bar.

He sighed and pinched his eyes shut with frustration. After a moment, he opened them again. "Fine. I'll have a snow ball fight with you. But only if you promise to leave me the fuck alone afterward."

"I promise!" I agreed with a grin. I bounced a little with excitement. He grunted and tried to break free again. I giggled playfully, realizing that I was _bouncing_ on him, and let him go.

I stood and beamed proudly at my accomplishment. Craig Tucker was going to have a snow ball fight with me, and then I was going to infiltrate his home. My plan was in motion!

"Alright, first one to get it in the face loses!" I announced. "Ready, set, go!" I cried, diving to start forming my snow army.

I looked up and had to dodge quickly to avoid getting hit. I started throwing as many as I could in his direction, hoping to hit him at least once.

He hid behind a trash can lid, like a shield, so I did the same. I half expected him to lose on purpose, just to get this over with, but apparently he wasn't about to do that. That made me _very_ happy. I loved a good challenge!

We went at it for a while, successfully avoiding being hit in the face. It got pretty intense too, with little snow forts and everything. I started to wonder if one of us would ever win.

I ran out of snow balls and ducked behind my fort to make some more. I cried out as a heavy weight smashed into my side. I looked, and he'd broken down my wall in an attempt to tackle me again. I was buried in a pile of broken wall under the weight of his body.

"Ah! That's not part of the rules!" I accused, trying to escape him, though I was unable to keep the humor from my voice.

He dug me out of the snow, only to trap me beneath him instead. "Well fuck the rules," he stated blandly, giving me a look I'd never seen.

He was annoyed, as usual, but there was something else there. What was that something else? I stared for a moment, analyzing his features.

He was amused. Craig Tucker was having _fun_ with someone! This was a historical event!

"Why are you staring at me?" he asked, sounding only slightly genuinely concerned.

I smirked and grabbed a handful of snow, shoving it into his face and smearing it around. "You lose!" I declared.

He growled, obviously unimpressed. He picked up a handful of his own snow and smashed it into my face. Except he didn't stop there. He added handful after handful, burying my head, until I couldn't feel my face anymore because it was so cold.

I laughed it off and shook my head to make it all fall away. I looked back up at him and there was little pieces of snow clinging to strands of his hair. Taking in more of him, he was completely covered in snow.

I grinned, sitting up and looking at myself. I was covered in snow too. He raised a brow at me, wondering what I was so happy about. "That was fun, right?" I asked.

He scoffed, standing and brushing himself off. "If you say so, asshole." He turned and began walking back toward his front door. I had to follow him!

I stood and scampered after him with a, "Wait!"

He turned, a hand on his door knob, with an expression that demanded an answer as to why I was still talking to him.

"You should let me come inside," I explained, "I'm all wet and I'll get sick if I walk home like this."

He rolled his eyes and opened his door, not even bothering responding to me. I rushed up to his door and stopped it before he could close it. "Please?" I asked, "Out of the kindness of your heart?"

He actually barked a laugh at that and attempted to close the door on my hands and face. "Did you really think that would work? Leave me alone; you promised."

"Who's at the door?" I heard from inside. Not long after, a small blonde girl, maybe 13 or 14 years old, appeared beside Craig. "Oh!" she exclaimed, surprised. She yanked Craig inside and I could hear her anxious whispers. "That's Kenny McCormick!" she hissed.

How did she know my name? I don't normally go for younger women, but I might be able to use this to my advantage. What was her name again…? "Is that you, Ruby?" I asked, peeking my head through the doorway with a winning smile. "It's so good to see you! How have you been?"

She blushed and turned to punch Craig in the arm. "Invite him in, you asshole!" she whispered.

Craig groaned and flipped her off. "You can come in and change if you want to," he mumbled, already walking away.

"Don't mind if I do!" I replied, winking at his younger sister as I sidled past her. I followed Craig up a staircase and into what I assumed to be his room.

It wasn't what I expected when I thought "Craig Tucker." It was all predictably blue, but it was perfectly neat. His desk was organized and there were no clothes throw on the floor. His walls were also covered inch for inch by posters. Movie posters, band posters, photos, anime magazine cutouts, the works. And, of course, his guinea pig sat in it's home in the corner.

He immediately stripped his jacket and hat, tossing them in a hamper as he made his way to his closet. His shirt was just wet enough to cling to his chest, and God, it was amazing. I watched the door he'd disappeared through for a couple moments before realizing that I really was freezing. I held myself and shivered.

"Could I maybe borrow a pair of shorts?" I asked, stripping my own jacket and letting it fall to the floor.

His head popped out of the closet so he could glare at me. "Why would I let you touch anything of mine? I hate you."

I shrugged and rid myself of my shirt as well. "I could always go nude for a while, if that's cool with you." I gave him a sly look. "It's definitely okay with me," I added.

He stared at me for a moment with calculating eyes before returning to his closet. He re-emerged with two pairs of shorts and tossed one at me. "You can keep those. I might have to burn them if you gave them back."

I chuckled and shook my head in a teasing sort of way. "When are you just going to shut up and admit you want my body?" I asked, wagging my finger at him like a mother might while scolding her son.

"I don't know, why don't you keep at it for a few more minutes?" he snarked, throwing his shirt into his hamper.

I raised an eyebrow at that, pleased with his response. I promptly kicked off my shoes and stripped my pants.

"What are you doing? Go the fuck to the bathroom and change."

"Why would I do that when this might help my cause?" I asked, staring him in the eye as I gripped my waistband.

He rolled his eyes and turned away from me, continuing to remove his soaked pants. That was not okay with me. He couldn't ignore me; I was seducing him!

I dropped my borrowed shorts and moved to sit on his bed. I laid on it and waited for his angry response. Sure enough, "Hey! Get your wet ass off my clean sheets!"

"I need help."

He gaped at me, obviously at a loss for words at my persistence. I only continued to look at him, completely serious expression on my face.

"Help me," I said again, rolling onto my back.

He grit his teeth. "I'll help you into your grave, is what I'll do."

I sighed, sitting up and hanging my head in defeat. "Maybe this was a stupid idea. I should have known you wouldn't have the balls to face me," I mumbled, vision lost in the patterns of his comforter.

I felt the mattress shift as he sat on the edge of the bed and looked up to see his fuming face. "What was that?" he asked, words barely squeezing out between his teeth.

"You have no balls," I repeated, glaring at him for refusing me, just like everyone else did.

In a flash, I was on my back again, and he was on top of me. I glared at him, thinking he was trying to threaten me again. But my thoughts skipped and my eyes went wide as he crashed his lips down onto mine. Was he… kissing me? Was that all it took was insulting his manhood?

Who cares? He was _kissing_ me!

I let my eyes fall shut as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I pulled him closer to me and our chests pressed together. I could feel his expand and contract with his quick breathing, and all I could think was _"Fuck yes fuck yes fuck YES."_

His lips were a little calloused from his constant biting, but that was okay with me because it meant he knew how to take a little abuse.

I angled my head and slipped my tongue out to prod at his lips. He easily complied and let me in, saying hello with his own tongue. The friction was easy and smooth as our muscles twisted and played together.

He soon took over, and I had no complaints about that. His tongue felt _amazing_ in my mouth, and his taste was more than intoxicating.

I felt myself grow excited as I realized that I'd won. I was in Craig Tucker's bed! My dry spell was over! My cock twitched in my boxers with anticipation.

I ground my hips up against his and his breath hitched momentarily. I did it again, harder, and a groan escaped his throat. I breathed a laugh and continued to rub myself against him, watching his face for reactions.

His eyes were shut tight and his teeth were clamped together. Maybe he'd been having a dry spell too? At that thought, I reached a hand between us and snuck it into his boxers. I took a hold of his growing hardness and slowly began to stroke it.

The feel of it in my hand was like Heaven on Earth. You know what? I've been to Heaven. This was _way_ better. And it could only go upward from there. I was about to have the best time of my life; I could feel it in my veins.

I rolled us around so that I was on top of him instead. He didn't seem to mind and settled comfortably into his pillows. I leaned down and nipped at his lip. He was easy to comply and opened immediately to my invasion. I never stopped my hand from moving along his shaft.

I left his mouth in favor of his throat. I nuzzled the side of his neck with my nose, then sunk my teeth into it. He fidgeted beneath me and his breathing picked up. I smirked against his skin and began to suckle on it.

He made a low noise, and _hot damn_, it was like my world had come full circle. It was the sexiest sound to ever grace my ears.

I sucked hard and removed myself from his neck with a _pop_. There was a dark purple bruise in place of my lips. I grinned to myself, having made myself known. Come Monday, everyone at school would know he was mine. Mine for a day.

I ran a feather light hand down his chest as I admired it. I could tell he worked out on a regular basis. I imagined him as he worked out; panting and sweating. That's how he would look in just a few short minuets.

Without bothering to ask, I slid down his body and discarded his damp boxers. I eyed his cock with a glint of hunger. It definitely looked bigger than any of the other men I'd been with, and that was exciting.

I teased him lightly with the tip of my tongue before actually taking it into my mouth. I could feel his erratic pulse in the thick vein that ran along the underside of his shaft. I hummed with happiness as I took more of him in.

His breathing became more labored and one of his hands fisted tightly in my hair. The light tugging it provided made my endorphins go crazy. I gripped his hips hard to prevent him from bucking into my throat. I may have been a bit of a whore, but that didn't make my throat canal any larger.

I poured all of my energy into making sure he was pleased. A happy partner made for a better time, in my opinion. He'd be more willing to do things for _me_.

He arched his back, and I hummed again with satisfaction. He was putty in my hands. Er… mouth. I sucked harder and I could feel his body tensing. I braced myself for his release, and it hit me not moments later. I made sure to take it all in, even going so far as to lap up what leaked down his shaft.

When I was done, I looked up to him with a smirk. "Good?" I asked. He glared at me and shoved me backwards. I landed on my ass and quirked a brow at him in minor irritation.

Before I could complain, though, he grabbed my arm and threw me down on his mattress in his place. My boxers were ripped from my body and he wasted no time taking me into his own mouth.

My eyes fluttered shut and I hissed at the sudden heat. I gripped at his comforter and resisted the urge to thrust. It felt amazing to have another human being touch me after four whole days of nothing but my own fist.

Those four days made this all the better, though. All of my senses were heightened, and I could feel every twitch of his lips and tongue. His teeth scraped lightly along my skin, and a quiver ran up my spine.

"Damn…" I muttered, somewhat breathless. I pulled on the blankets in an attempt to restrain myself as all of my muscles tightened. His mouth retreated and I almost cried out in frustration.

His hand soon replaced his lips, and he proceeded to pump me to completion. It wasn't as good as a hot mouth would have been, but I suppose I couldn't expect him to swallow. We weren't friends, after all. He hated me.

I sat up and ran my fingers through his hair. I tightened my fists and yanked him toward me for another kiss. He forced his weight into me and we fell to the mattress together.

The feel of his body pressed against mine was like a gift from God himself. I wanted him so bad. I _needed_ him by that point. I wrapped my legs around his waist and held him tight. "I assume you want top?" I asked. I chuckled breathlessly, then added, "Since you have such a control complex, and all…"

He scoffed, but didn't reply. He lowered his head and began to suckle on a patch of skin on my neck. He rocked his hips against mine and I could feel how hard he already was again. I'm sure he could feel it in me, too.

I rocked my own hips back against his and we started a beautiful friction. I moved my hands from his hair to his back, holding him against me. I had all four of my limbs wrapped around him, and I never wanted to let go. He was just so damn warm, and his libido called out to mine.

I let my head fall back as he continued to nip at my throat. "Do you have any lube?" I asked, anxious to get to the good part.

He stopped in his ministrations to give me a pointed glance. "Do I _look_ like I'd keep lube?" he asked, as if the answer was obvious.

I frowned and sighed. "Give me your hand," I stated, holding out my own. He shook his head and heaved himself off of me. I wined at his absence, feeling cold.

He opened a drawer and retrieved a rather sizable tube before coming back to me. I quirked a brow at him as he settled back between my legs. "I thought you just said you didn't have any," I enquired.

He squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers and smirked at me. "No, I asked if I looked like I had any, dumbass. And you assumed the wrong answer," he replied, lifting my hips and with one hand aligning his other at my entrance.

My breath hitched as he pushed the first finger into me. It had been a while since anyone had the balls to top me, so it was going to be a little rough. I clenched my jaw and persevered and he prodded and stretched me.

A few seconds in to the third finger, he bent his angle and brushed against my prostate. I gasped and clamped my hands onto his shoulders, my toes curling. I'd forgotten how _impossible_ that felt. "Ngh.. again!"

He curled his fingers again and massaged them against my nerves. I visibly quaked with the feeling. I was so excited, I couldn't wait any more. "I'm ready," I managed to breathe out. All other words were caught in my throat.

He removed his fingers and I watched as he squeezed more of the lube onto his cock. I licked my lips as he lathered himself. My brain was on the fritz, and my hands were becoming almost jittery with the desire to touch him.

He positioned himself, depositing the tube on the floor, and I wrapped my legs around him again. He slowly began to push past my ring of muscles and I tightened my legs' grip with the pain.

It nearly felt like I was going to be split in two. Of course, I knew that wouldn't happen, so I just gnawed on my lip and did my best to ignore the pain. He stopped and appeared to be catching his breath. I hadn't realized I'd been holding mine, and let it out in a shaky exhale.

The hold he had on my hips was so tight, I knew I'd be admiring the bruises later. But that was okay; the more sore you are when it's over, the more fun you had during the act.

I noticed that he was still restraining himself from moving, apparently waiting for my approval. "What a sweet sentiment; waiting for me to be okay. I didn't know you cared so much," I taunted, leering up at him with a smirk.

He glared and jerked his body forward, impaling me the rest of the way. "Better?" he asked, pulling back for another hard thrust.

I grunted with his force, but nodded. It was about time we got on with the show.

We started out a little sporadic, but we soon picked up a nice rhythm. With each passing thrust, the more the pleasure started to outweigh the pain. I grabbed for his headboard in an attempt to steady myself and keep us balanced.

My eyes screwed themselves shut and I focused solely on the feel of our connection. Each pump, each thrust, drove me more and more crazy.

When he found my prostate again, I seriously thought I was going to explode. Electricity shot through my veins and I felt like I was on fire. I was lost at that point; I couldn't even form coherent thought anymore.

My knuckles turned white with how hard I was clutching the headboard, and his bed actually squeaked with each of our movements. I'd never been with someone whose bed actually _squeaked_. It was the most satisfying sound in the world. That, and Craig's breathless panting. His voice rang in my ears like nothing else.

My whole world, in that instant, was Craig Tucker. All I could think was Craig Tucker. All I could hear was Craig Tucker. All I could see was Craig Tucker. All I could taste was Craig Tucker. _All I could feel was Craig Tucker._

His thrusts started to lose their pattern. They got harder and quicker and more desperate. I could tell that he was definitely near his end.

I was genuinely surprised when I felt his hand wrap itself around my dick. I hadn't pegged him for a thoughtful lover, but there he was, pumping me to my climax.

He came first, filling me with his essence. I followed not long after, spilling over the both of us. He crumpled on top of me, breathing labouredly with his head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held on to the feeling of his body on mine.

After a few drawn out moments, I decided to break the silence. "Aren't you even going to apologize for jizzing inside me? Talk about bad manners," I teased.

"Suck my dick, McCormick, you know you don't care either way," he said, unmoving. He seemed comfortable and a bit tired.

I laughed at that. "Oh, you're right, I forgot," I agreed. "And I just did; can't you wait a few minutes?"

He groaned and lifted himself off me. "Fuck off, asshat," he mumbled. He stood and pulled on his fresh shorts. "Follow me if you want to clean yourself up. You look like a total whore."

* * *

><p><strong>This was for my lovely bi-curious-ish friend Matt. :D We met on Omegle. xD<strong>

**Late Valentine's Day, sorry it sucks, blah blah blah… I haven't been very on my ball with writing lately, and I feel like nothing is good enough. /: Depression does that, eh?**

**Also, I put the second half of this in chapter two, because it's lame and you shouldn't read it. xD**

**Also Also, I swear I haven't forgotten about your pictures, NightmareMyLove. . I just REALLY haven't been able to draw lately, and I want your pictures to be perfect. :3 So it's taking me forever because I can't draw anymore. T-T**

**I'll post spelling/grammar fixes later. d:**


	2. Resolution

A half an hour later, we found ourselves playing his X-Box while I waited for my clothes to dry.

"So I never got the chance to ask, but why _do_ you have that lube in your desk?" I asked, keeping my eyes locked on the TV screen as I annihilated another player.

"Isn't it obvious?"

I shrugged, conceding. "Well yeah, but who do you have regular enough sex with to need that big a bottle?"

"Tweek," he answered easily.

Interest piqued, I looked over at him. "Why weren't you with him today, then?"

He hesitated a moment, before saying, "He broke up with me two days ago."

If I would have been drinking something, I would have spit it everywhere. "You were dating Tweek!" I asked, completely shocked. "For how long?"

"Almost a year."

I stared hard at him for a minute, disbelieving. "Then why did you just sleep with me? That sounds pretty intense."

He glared at the television. "It _was_ intense. But you're the same height as him, and you have kind of similar hair…"

"So I was his replacement? That doesn't seem very fair to him. Or you, for that matter."

His glare shifted to me and I could physically feel his frustration. "You suddenly care? You didn't _ask_ if I was available; you just jumped in my bed. Don't start acting all righteous on me now, after _that_."

I lifted my hands in surrender. "Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to offend you."

We fell into an uncomfortable silence as we continued to play the game.

I wasn't the most caring person in the world, but I felt like I was responsible for doing something wrong. What if Tweek hated him forever because he fucked me?

"…So, are you planning on getting back together with Tweek?" I asked, braving his response. What was the worst that could happen; he'd punch me? Big deal.

"I seriously have a pike in my closet with your name on it."

"Seriously, talk to me. I'm stuck here for another 20 minutes, you might as well get some use out of me, right?"

He smirked at me. "Well, I could just fuck you a few more times, if you want to be useful."

I returned his smirk and barked a laugh. "As much as I'd enjoy that, I think you need a friend right now. Or what do you call your friends… a 'bro.'"

He gave me a long stare before sighing and giving up. "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, I want him back. I fucked up, and he broke up with me. I never meant to hurt him, but I deserved worse than the slap he gave me. A lot worse."

"What happened?"

"I started to get more than just attached to him. I guess I got a little scared. I ditched on a date and went to a party with Clyde, to, you know, clear my head. There was a girl, and making out, and somehow sleeping naked. Nothing happened, because I was drunk and all I could talk about was Tweek, so the girl realized she wanted nothing to do with me. Well anyway, Tweek finds me the next morning, assumes the worst, and breaks up with me. It just sucks, because after he walked away, I realized that I was in love with him. But none of that matters now because he hates me."

"Are you sure he hates you? Maybe you should explain what happened."

"Yeah, that's a fucking fantastic story. I tried to replace you with some whore and also just had sex with Kenny; by the way, I love you, bro."

I forgot to respond for a moment, my brain shorting out. It took me a minute to recognize that "Kenny" was actually me. "You just said 'Kenny' instead of 'McCormick.'"

He _tsk_ed and rolled his eyes. "Don't get too used to it, because I still hate you."

I decided to drop it and urge him to continue his story. "So you're giving up on him?"

"Basically. After what just happened, I could never let myself be with him again. My bed is soiled, thanks to you. You're such a fucking asshole."

My eyebrows furrowed and I paused the game to look at him seriously. "Hey, I didn't _force_ you to have sex with me; don't make this my fault. All I did was offer, and you took the bait. I'm anything but a home wrecker."

"Chill, my home was already wrecked. You just didn't help matters any."

"What do you expect me to do about it? Talk to Tweek-"

He suddenly grabbed me and sneered in my face. "Do _not_ talk to Tweek."

I studied his face, thinking about what to say. "How can I help then?"

He let me go and stared at the wall for a few seconds. "Give me your phone number."

"Why?"

He stood to go retrieve his cell phone. "Because now that my chances of getting back with Tweek are fucked, you need to take responsibility."

"How will giving you my number help?" I asked when he handed his phone to me. I began to type in my digits.

"Dumbass. Now that I don't have a consistent supply of ass, you're going to come over here every time I call you."

I grinned at him. "I'm going to be your booty call?" I asked with a snicker.

"Something like that," he said, glancing at me sideways.

I handed his phone back to him. "Hell yeah. We'll be like real live fuck buddies!"

"Except from now on, you won't be fucking anyone other than me." I opened my mouth to comment on how I'm not going to be his girlfriend, but he cut me off. "I just don't want any fucking diseases, so get your head out of your ass."

"So, let me get this straight. We're going to fuck exclusively, but we still get to hate each other in public?"

"Pretty much."

I flung my arms around him dramatically. "Oh Craig, I love you too!"

"Don't touch me. Now get your ass back on my bed."

* * *

><p><strong>What did I tell you? I told you not to read this! No! Bad reader! Bad!<strong>

**Anyway, yeah, this was super lame and didn't make a lot of sense, but whatever. It was pretty much just brain puke, and I haven't read this through yet. The whole story will be edited tomorrow or something, but for now: peace out. (:**


End file.
